Dunmow F.C. Meet The Players

The Players

Front Row Mark Seton, Martin Broomfield, Chris Grout, Kolja Plomp, Chris Riley, Phil Marshall,
Craig Callingham, James Crust
Back Row Simon Gypps, Andy Broad, Rick Murphy, Bill, Wayne Riley

Simon Gypps - Club Manager

Cheery Chappy Simon

Simon holds the unenviable record of having scored some 19 own goals in a season (1998/99). His preferred position is
right-back but the team prefer he stays away from our goal
and stands on the touchline as substitute! During the
1999/2000 season Simon has been pushed forward into
right midfield where his record of only 2 own-goals (and one stunning real goal) speaks for itself.

Mark Seton - Club Secretary and Webmaster extrordinaire

Mark joined the club at the beginning of the 1999/2000
season and therefore takes no share in the blame for the 1998/99 seasons debacle. Originally coming from Leeds,
Mark adds some true Yorkshire grit to the defence having played at Right Back (preferred) Left Back (no - he doesn't have "two good feet") and Centre-Back where his
reluctance to head the ball can cause some scary moments
for the keeper. When pressed he has also played right and central midfield.

Phil Marshall Club Captain

He of the red boots! Lorry driver Phil has moved quickly into
the right-back area vacated (without his knowledge) by
Mark Seton. Has an amazing ability of blocking the football
with his ever swelling testicles - testament indeed to a
growing reputation as defender extrordinaire. His greatest moment was his attempt to chat up a tree whilst trying to
make his way back home from The Cricketers after a couple
of "swift" ones after a match.

Chris "Cart Horse" Riley

Old-boy Chris (75) gives the team purpose and solidity down
the left. Playing at left back Chris constantly surprises his
fellow players by his speed and vision despite the
encroachment of senility. Indeed Chris is one of the quicker
and fitter players - which explains so much!

Rick Murphy

Cooool!

Dunmows "Play Boy", Rick can usually be found preening
himself in central midfield. The organiser of the team he is always at pains to let everyone know that just 'cos he called
you a "useless lazy c**t" on the field, doesn't mean he hates you. Having once trained with Manchester City (from where
he hails), Rick leads the men in training, which generally
means he tells us what to do and we get generally confused
and cock it up.

Craig Callingham

Central Midfield and occasional left winger, Craig, hails from Coventry. Which explains why none of his team mates can understand a word he is saying. One of the fitter players in
the team caused by chasing after his dog, Charlie, no doubt. Craig joined the team at the beginning of the 1999/2000 season. Quite liable to miss the ball completely or get the ball
to go behind him when taking a vicious shot. Cleaned up in
the Club Awards for season 1999/2000

Andy Broad

Not quite so cooool!

Another who joined at the start of the 1999/2000 season,
Andy advised us all that he was a striker. It soon became
clear that he wasn't and he was sent to marshal the central defence where he has proved a revelation. Andy has even stepped in as goalkeeper on occasion. One of the view
players in the side who can actually head the ball. Has many tattoos as well.

Damon "Short Arse" Lawrence

Local lad Damon is also the stud of the team - regularly
turning up to games with a dolly bird in tow. The side always appreciates this as he plays so much better when showing
off to said Lady. Playing as either a striker or left winger,
Damon is by far the fittest and fastest player we have, and actually possesses a range of ball skills the like of which
cannot be found anywhere else in the team. All this clearly stems from his bedtime athletics.

Chris Fox

Goally extrordinaire, Chris has returned to the team for the start of the 2000/2001 campaign following an operation. The team were distressed to hear that he was coming back and taking back the goalkeeping duties! Tends to get bored in
goal (difficult to imagine with our defence) and makes some truely superb howlers. His greatest moment was arriving
late at a game against Epping he ran onto the pitch, took
over in goal and with his first attack to deal with he scythed down the oppositions centre forward and got sent off. All in about 60 seconds. Impressive!

Kolja Plomp (with team mascot and son, Daniel)

Striker and midfield ace who joined the team in the middle of
the disastrous 1998/1999 season. The greediest player in
the team allegedly. (Well, that's what all the guys up front say). posessess a nice turn of pace and an ability to send an opponent the wrong way. Another goal scorer for the side.

Martin "Spoonfoot" Broomfield

Would you let your daughter go out with this man?

Previously one of our strikers, now first choice goalkeeper
and forcing Chris Fox out of the picture - striker to keeper - mmm typical Dunmow! Martin is MAD. Banger racing is his
game, along with Captain baiting on the football pitch. Once turned up with a freshly cut Mohican haircut. Kicks the ball
very hard, unfortunately nine times out of ten the ball goes vertically over the bar which explains why he is now Goalkeeper. Has been known to try to fight the entire
opposing team.

Wayne Riley

Son of Chris Riley (well - we did say he was getting on a bit), Wayne is by far the most accomplished footballer in the side. Poached at the start of the season from local giants Barnston
( they played Leyton Orient you know, and the Reserves
turned us over 12-0!) Wayne provides pace and precision in midfield and has a real strikers nose for goal.

Chris Grout

New signing for the 2000/2001 season Chris made a great
start to the season by sticking his hand through a window
and severing all the tendons and stuff in his wrist thereby successfully avoiding the pre-season training. Arrived as a striker and actually scored in his home debut - now there's something new for Dunmow - claims to be a striker and
actually scores goals - surely not! Well, as the current season has proved he hasn't proved to be the goal scoring dream
we had hoped. Has now disappeared completely out of view!

James Crust

New boy James has appeared at one training session and
has been a playing substitute for 1 game - so I've not got a
lot to say about him...yet!

Well, the season is a little older now and we can say a little
more about him. Made his full team debut in the remarkable
first victory in 2 years against arch local rivals Dunmow
Rhodes and has proved to be an excellent right winger. Unfortunately injury has prevented him from making more
of a mark on the team.

Bill Brennan

Another Leeds United supporter - so he can't be all bad! Bill
has been unfortunate in that he has been unable to break
into the team so far this season, however, he has played
cameo parts in some of our victories this year as substitute. Makes a great linesman too!

David Scudds

David joined the team a couple of months ago and with John Arundle and Johnny French he has helped add some steel to
the Dunmow Midfield.

John Arundle

John - famous for his ability to hold a conversation by
belching, is the team comedian - coming up with classic jokes
to get the team going before a game. Started in midfield and now playing at Centre Back, John has shown some real class and has helped turn the Dunmow team around.

Johnny French

Johnny patiently awaited his chance to move into the side
and has now claimed one of the midfield places and has demonstrated high ability in dribbling the ball - the like of
which has never been seen before at Dunmow.

Adam Thurley

As with Johnny, had to wait sometime before forcing his way into the side at left back but has done sterling work in place
of Chris "Carthorse" Riley at left back

Stars of the Past, put out to pasture!

The Harlow Boys

Steve and Paul - The Harlow Boys

Paul

Centre back with the long hair. Another lanky one this, quite liable to try and play his way out of trouble, only to have the
ball whisked away by the opposition and smashed into the
back of the net. Internal conflict with Captain Rick forced
Paul to prove that he really was the best man at Centre Back
and, in partnership with Andy, has gone from strength to strength.

Steve

Diminutive Steve plays on the right of midfield and has shown some extraordinary moments of footballing skill and precision passing before falling back into the usual Dunmow rubbish.
Runs the line beautifully, even if he does get a rollicking from Claire for not signalling for offsides strongly enough!

Nigel

Ahhh - the mysterious Nigel. Took over as regular goalkeeper from Chris Fox following his suspension for being sent off. By
far our best 'Keeper. Played about 10 games and then disappeared into thin air. Rumour has it that he may be about
to resurface.

Ryan ("Jesus")

New Goaly Ryan made his debut in a recent friendly for the
side and amazingly only let in 3 goals - the best debut of any goaly for Dunmow in a long time. Also plays for the all conquering Dunmow Rangers Sunday side - but we won't
hold that against him. We soon saw him off though - the lure
of watching Ipswich in the Premier was just too strong!

Robin Miller

Lanky Robin plays in either midfield or central defence
Coming from Sunderland explains everything far easier than
can be said in words. Has been known to score the odd goal, which is more than can be said for most of the team and famously claimed half a goal "cos I was near the ball"
Optimistic to a fault!

Kelly Warner

Known to all as "Albie" he has deputised in goal since the
loss of Chris Fox and the mysterious disappearance of Nigel
our other 'keeper and done an excellent job. Originally
brought in to strengthen our midfield, who knows what he's
like in that position!


Home Fixtures Results Veterans Results League Table The Team The Players Golden Boot The Ground Message Board Club Awards Pre-Match Trivia Quiz (Win £15) Tactics Our Sponsors News Letters Why Bacon? Press Reports Front Magazine Archives Links Contact Us Celebration Page	The Players Front Row Mark Seton, Martin Broomfield, Chris Grout, Kolja Plomp, Chris Riley, Phil Marshall, Craig Callingham, James Crust Back Row Simon Gypps, Andy Broad, Rick Murphy, Bill, Wayne Riley Simon Gypps - Club Manager Cheery Chappy Simon Simon holds the unenviable record of having scored some 19 own goals in a season (1998/99). His preferred position is right-back but the team prefer he stays away from our goal and stands on the touchline as substitute! During the 1999/2000 season Simon has been pushed forward into right midfield where his record of only 2 own-goals (and one stunning real goal) speaks for itself. Mark Seton - Club Secretary and Webmaster extrordinaire Mark joined the club at the beginning of the 1999/2000 season and therefore takes no share in the blame for the 1998/99 seasons debacle. Originally coming from Leeds, Mark adds some true Yorkshire grit to the defence having played at Right Back (preferred) Left Back (no - he doesn't have "two good feet") and Centre-Back where his reluctance to head the ball can cause some scary moments for the keeper. When pressed he has also played right and central midfield. Phil Marshall Club Captain He of the red boots! Lorry driver Phil has moved quickly into the right-back area vacated (without his knowledge) by Mark Seton. Has an amazing ability of blocking the football with his ever swelling testicles - testament indeed to a growing reputation as defender extrordinaire. His greatest moment was his attempt to chat up a tree whilst trying to make his way back home from The Cricketers after a couple of "swift" ones after a match. Chris "Cart Horse" Riley Old-boy Chris (75) gives the team purpose and solidity down the left. Playing at left back Chris constantly surprises his fellow players by his speed and vision despite the encroachment of senility. Indeed Chris is one of the quicker and fitter players - which explains so much! Rick Murphy Cooool! Dunmows "Play Boy", Rick can usually be found preening himself in central midfield. The organiser of the team he is always at pains to let everyone know that just 'cos he called you a "useless lazy ct" on the field, doesn't mean he hates you. Having once trained with Manchester City (from where he hails), Rick leads the men in training, which generally means he tells us what to do and we get generally confused and cock it up. Craig Callingham Central Midfield and occasional left winger, Craig, hails from Coventry. Which explains why none of his team mates can understand a word he is saying. One of the fitter players in the team caused by chasing after his dog, Charlie, no doubt. Craig joined the team at the beginning of the 1999/2000 season. Quite liable to miss the ball completely or get the ball to go behind him when taking a vicious shot. Cleaned up in the Club Awards for season 1999/2000 Andy Broad Not quite so cooool! Another who joined at the start of the 1999/2000 season, Andy advised us all that he was a striker. It soon became clear that he wasn't and he was sent to marshal the central defence where he has proved a revelation. Andy has even stepped in as goalkeeper on occasion. One of the view players in the side who can actually head the ball. Has many tattoos as well. Damon "Short Arse" Lawrence Local lad Damon is also the stud of the team - regularly turning up to games with a dolly bird in tow. The side always appreciates this as he plays so much better when showing off to said Lady. Playing as either a striker or left winger, Damon is by far the fittest and fastest player we have, and actually possesses a range of ball skills the like of which cannot be found anywhere else in the team. All this clearly stems from his bedtime athletics. Chris Fox Goally extrordinaire, Chris has returned to the team for the start of the 2000/2001 campaign following an operation. The team were distressed to hear that he was coming back and taking back the goalkeeping duties! Tends to get bored in goal (difficult to imagine with our defence) and makes some truely superb howlers. His greatest moment was arriving late at a game against Epping he ran onto the pitch, took over in goal and with his first attack to deal with he scythed down the oppositions centre forward and got sent off. All in about 60 seconds. Impressive! Kolja Plomp (with team mascot and son, Daniel) Striker and midfield ace who joined the team in the middle of the disastrous 1998/1999 season. The greediest player in the team allegedly. (Well, that's what all the guys up front say). posessess a nice turn of pace and an ability to send an opponent the wrong way. Another goal scorer for the side. Martin "Spoonfoot" Broomfield Would you let your daughter go out with this man? Previously one of our strikers, now first choice goalkeeper and forcing Chris Fox out of the picture - striker to keeper - mmm typical Dunmow! Martin is MAD. Banger racing is his game, along with Captain baiting on the football pitch. Once turned up with a freshly cut Mohican haircut. Kicks the ball very hard, unfortunately nine times out of ten the ball goes vertically over the bar which explains why he is now Goalkeeper. Has been known to try to fight the entire opposing team. Wayne Riley Son of Chris Riley (well - we did say he was getting on a bit), Wayne is by far the most accomplished footballer in the side. Poached at the start of the season from local giants Barnston ( they played Leyton Orient you know, and the Reserves turned us over 12-0!) Wayne provides pace and precision in midfield and has a real strikers nose for goal. Chris Grout New signing for the 2000/2001 season Chris made a great start to the season by sticking his hand through a window and severing all the tendons and stuff in his wrist thereby successfully avoiding the pre-season training. Arrived as a striker and actually scored in his home debut - now there's something new for Dunmow - claims to be a striker and actually scores goals - surely not! Well, as the current season has proved he hasn't proved to be the goal scoring dream we had hoped. Has now disappeared completely out of view! James Crust New boy James has appeared at one training session and has been a playing substitute for 1 game - so I've not got a lot to say about him...yet! Well, the season is a little older now and we can say a little more about him. Made his full team debut in the remarkable first victory in 2 years against arch local rivals Dunmow Rhodes and has proved to be an excellent right winger. Unfortunately injury has prevented him from making more of a mark on the team. Bill Brennan Another Leeds United supporter - so he can't be all bad! Bill has been unfortunate in that he has been unable to break into the team so far this season, however, he has played cameo parts in some of our victories this year as substitute. Makes a great linesman too! David Scudds David joined the team a couple of months ago and with John Arundle and Johnny French he has helped add some steel to the Dunmow Midfield. John Arundle John - famous for his ability to hold a conversation by belching, is the team comedian - coming up with classic jokes to get the team going before a game. Started in midfield and now playing at Centre Back, John has shown some real class and has helped turn the Dunmow team around. Johnny French Johnny patiently awaited his chance to move into the side and has now claimed one of the midfield places and has demonstrated high ability in dribbling the ball - the like of which has never been seen before at Dunmow. Adam Thurley As with Johnny, had to wait sometime before forcing his way into the side at left back but has done sterling work in place of Chris "Carthorse" Riley at left back Stars of the Past, put out to pasture! The Harlow Boys Steve and Paul - The Harlow Boys Paul Centre back with the long hair. Another lanky one this, quite liable to try and play his way out of trouble, only to have the ball whisked away by the opposition and smashed into the back of the net. Internal conflict with Captain Rick forced Paul to prove that he really was the best man at Centre Back and, in partnership with Andy, has gone from strength to strength. Steve Diminutive Steve plays on the right of midfield and has shown some extraordinary moments of footballing skill and precision passing before falling back into the usual Dunmow rubbish. Runs the line beautifully, even if he does get a rollicking from Claire for not signalling for offsides strongly enough! Nigel Ahhh - the mysterious Nigel. Took over as regular goalkeeper from Chris Fox following his suspension for being sent off. By far our best 'Keeper. Played about 10 games and then disappeared into thin air. Rumour has it that he may be about to resurface. Ryan ("Jesus") New Goaly Ryan made his debut in a recent friendly for the side and amazingly only let in 3 goals - the best debut of any goaly for Dunmow in a long time. Also plays for the all conquering Dunmow Rangers Sunday side - but we won't hold that against him. We soon saw him off though - the lure of watching Ipswich in the Premier was just too strong! Robin Miller Lanky Robin plays in either midfield or central defence Coming from Sunderland explains everything far easier than can be said in words. Has been known to score the odd goal, which is more than can be said for most of the team and famously claimed half a goal "cos I was near the ball" Optimistic to a fault! Kelly Warner** Known to all as "Albie" he has deputised in goal since the loss of Chris Fox and the mysterious disappearance of Nigel our other 'keeper and done an excellent job. Originally brought in to strengthen our midfield, who knows what he's like in that position!
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