An Introduction to Dunmow FC Reserves
Left Wing:
Andy "Far to young for us" Milne
Andy is just 17 and is the baby of the team (bear in mind our average age last season was about 37) - but is probably one of our best players - you want someone to run forward (quickly!!) Andy's your man!! You want someone to run backward (quickly!!)...you get the gist! Currently taking his driving test...which will all happen...quickly!
Left Wing:
Paul "Wildy" Wild
A colosus in the position of...linesman Paul is, without a shadow of doubt, our most loyal and patient servant. Often castigated (on the line), often surprisingly tenacious in the tackle "Super Sub" Wild knows what his job is and how to perform it - he just tells the oppo to F**k O*F - Quality!
Centre Midfield / El Capitano / Poser / Junior Carthouse
Wayne "I'll pay you next week" Riley
Wayne is another stalwart of the team - indeed he comes from fine stock being son of ex-Chairman of the club Carthorse Chris Riley (96). Chris has disappeared into a life of long beards, motorbikes and ZZTop soundtracks...however Captain Wayne keeps pushing the boundry for number of similar injuries in a season - currently top scorer!!
Centre Midfield - Martin "Burt" Windsor
Martin "Jus Like That" Windsor is a midfield dynamow - previously found on the left of midfield Martin has perfected the conversion - sadly - this is football - not rugby! Clearly chin hair and fast cars are Martins prefered bag!
Right Wing: Matthew Boreham
Laughing boy Boreham is actually Dunmow's finest goalkeeper...after Chris Soutar obviously. Wisely, having conceeded a scwillion goals over the last 3 or 4 seasons, Matty decided enough was enough and refused to play in goal. Unbeliveably Boreham has turned into a goal machine (until I typed that - obviously!) and tops the assists chart screaming down the right wing and delivering quality crosses from the right (subject to the quantity of alcohol consumed last night!)
Right Wing: Lee Hempenstall
With an assist and a wicked right foot Lee looks like a player destined for far greater things than Dunmow Reserves - he's our one to watch!! (That'll finish his football career stone dead! Sorry mate!)
